Well, it is all over.
Family has all gone back to their routines and everyday life.
Our parents are back to work.
Our beautiful flowers are beginning to fade away.
My stomach is beginning to heal and the pain is getting better by the day.
Summer for us is starting and our children have both their mom and dad at home for a while.
Now what?
What do we do with all of this time that was supposed to be taken up by a little baby?
How do you go through the day as if none of this happened?
What are you supposed to say to those who one day saw you huge and pregnant and now all of a sudden, the stomach is smaller but there is no sign of a little baby anywhere?
I have thought of all of these questions over the last few days.
I know I am ready for this summer to spend some quality time with my husband and children!
I will go through my day trying to look forward to what I have and not looking back to what could have been.
And I am hopeful to see those that were waiting for our news of a brand new baby! I am hopeful because I am not going to be afraid of telling them where our little girl has gone. I am hopeful because God has allowed me to have a story. A story that I pray brings him glory everytime I tell it! A story that starts out with Lilliana Grace but ends up being about only my Savior!
Sure these days aren't always going to be easy.
I am tired. exhausted after a surgery that didn't go the way we had planned.
My body is healing and the way my body is healing is the way that my heart has to heal as well!
There will be painful days but with some comfort, My Lord will get me through!!! I am confident of this!
"Lord keep me focused on you! Keep me safe in your arms when the days are hard and the nights are lonely. Help me to keep my eyes on you and to see the blessings that are right in front of me and not on the things that I think I should have! Only you Lord is where my strength will come from. No where else will my strength be as strong or last as long. Only You! Keep me standing during the hard, rainy days. You have in the past and I know you will in the future!"
Stay Cool This Summer In Chambray
7 years ago
5 comments:
I was thinking about you today and wondering how you were doing with all the "quiet" around the house. I am praying for you guys. It's probably a bit tough now that everyone is gone.
Love you guys.
That's funny what Karie said....I was thinking about you too, today, and thinking that it was probably a bit easier that we were all out of your hair! :-)
But, I know with the quiet can come thoughts and emotions like these, too....you are still in my prayers everyday for healing--both physical and emotional. Love you.
Love you Aimee! Things have slowed down a bit, but you are definitely still in our prayers...and causing me tears still as well. I hope we get to see you this week!
What "GRACE" God has already given to you!! Thank you for this post. Heather and I have been so encouraged by you and Rog as you continue to speak truth to this matter rather than social, politically correct, psychology gubeligock! (I just made up that word)
I just happened to stumble across your blog today and am struck by our similar situations. I lost my baby boy on April 30th. I had gone in for a scheduled c-section to find out his heart had stopped beating sometime during the night before. I know your pain all too well and I'm still stumbling through my grief. I trust God in this, but I find myself questioning Him - A LOT. I'm touched by the grace and faith you show through your tragedy. I'll be praying for you as I know only too well how much a heart can break over this.
Amy
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