A new tradition

This year, our family was invited to the hospital for a tree decorating in honor of all of our babies that have left us.

It was no question.

We would be there and all of us would be attending.

It took me forever to figure out what ornament I wanted to use for the tree.

I am in no way creative but I knew kind of what I wanted but just wasn't sure it would turn out right.

In fact, this very day, hours before we were to be there, I was at the store looking for a PERFECT ornament.

I figured it would be no big deal.

We would get ready, go there, say hi, put our ornament on the tree, share our story to a few and be on our way to enjoy our evening.

Wow was I wrong.

We got there and joined another family of seven and waited to begin.

After an introduction and some words we headed over to decorate the tree.

They had asked if after we explained our ornament and put it on the tree that we would help put up the three other boxes of ornaments from past years.

Again I figured that this job would be great for the kids and it would get done quick and we could go.

As we opened the other boxes we were seeing very personal ornaments that were dated up to twenty years ago.

This of course caught all of our attention and made us extremely interested at going through every one.

3.

3 boxes of ornaments from families that lost babies like we did.

It really struck me to think just how often this occurs and how these people  are every where, keeping this bond quiet.

Part of it was sad too because our instructor(A very dear person that is so special to me) Kelly, said that when she took this position over she was given these 3 bins of ornaments and when she remembered where they were she felt they should be put out again and not hidden in a basement just waiting for Chrismas to pass by. That all of these babies should be remembered and not just recent ones.

When I realized how wrong I was about this night I ran back to my purse and started taking pictures.

Here's a few.

I was thrilled to take some time and remember our little one that is now only with us as a memory.

I love talking about Lilliana to our kids so she becomes familiar to them.

My hope is that one day her story will be more to my kids than just them having a  sister that is now in heaven but that they can see how God can take a sorrowful season and reveal joy, blessing, goodness, love, comfort, grace and the most perfect plan for a family. 

So, doing things like placing an ornament on a tree are ways for my kids to get involved so that Rog and I can start revealing to them how even sorrowful events  are covered with joy.

I want Lilliana's story to be a no brainer at how GREAT God is!

Yes she was my child I lost unexpectedly.

Yes it was sorrowful.

Yes I would love to say I have 4 children without needing a story to explain why there are only 3 in front of me but if Lilliana were here all of those things I want my kids to see wouldn't be as evident or as meaningful.

So when I say Lilliana is a blessing she TRULY is a blessing that shows me so much about my Lord who loves me so very much! So much that he would allow us to have a child that lives with Him so that I can talk about her and remember her in a way that means so much more than I can explain at times.

For this, I am thankful for the letter that invited us out for an evening of remembering our baby during such a special time of year.

Not just to remember her but to remember how God has a plan for every family that placed an ornament on the tree. His GOODNESS is all over that tree.

My heart just overflows with joy and tears.

Not sad tears but tears of thanksgiving and comfort.