What do I really want?

A few conversations that have come my way the last few days have really struck me and have made me think.

The biggest questions I think you get while being pregnant are, of course,

1)When are you due?

Following with,

2) Do you know what you're having?

Usually, when I inform those who ask, that we do not find out, they most likely smile, and either say, "Oh good, I like the surprise too." Or, "Well you have one of each so it really doesn't matter."

They are right, it really shouldn't matter and this time around for me it doesn't matter one bit.

While watching our little one during the ultrasound, the nurse asked Rog whether he wanted a boy or a girl. He responded with, "It doesn't matter. A baby."

As soon as he said that I looked over at the nurse and said, "After what we went through last year, your perspective changes a bit on that."

She agreed and completely understood.

I was thrilled with Rog's response and was then at peace with whatever we will soon have.


Soon after our ultrasound, we headed over to the chiropractor.
I walked in and two ladies that worked there asked how I was doing because apparantly I have popped in the last week or so.
I told them I had my ultrasound today and, of course, they asked what I was having.
As soon as I told them that we(I) usually choose to not find out, one of the ladies smiled and said, "Right, as long as the baby is healthy."
I found myself  begin to agree with her and thought for a split second. Yes, it would be great to have a healthy baby but it was then that I spoke up and said, "Well, not even a healthy baby, just a baby and we can deal with the health later."

Did I mean exactly what I said?
Maybe?

Would it be hard to have a sick child?
Absolutely, but I am sure if Lilliana were alive with issues I would have loved her just the same as Luke and Olivia. Yes, days would have been long, bills would be sky high but she would have been here, in our arms, alive and we would have cherished every moment.

Is it really 'health' that we want for our children when they are born or the joy of knowing they are alive and finally here?

I have really thought over and over about these two conversations and really just want nothing more than a baby.
Lord willing this child will be healthy, but, if there are problems, I want to be just as joyous and at peace with what God has given to us. All children are a blessing from the Lord!

Healthy or not.

Don't get me wrong, I am not upset with these conversations but they just hit me kind of hard and have really made me think.
People just unknowingly say, "As long as it's healthy" when really I am not so sure that is the proper look at it.
Just simple little things we say to keep the conversation going I guess.